


Teenagers & Tiaras

by ScreamHoney



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Agender Pidge | Katie Holt, F/M, Hunk is the best bro, I watch too many Toddler's & Tiaras reruns, Keith is not as gay as he thought, Keith is smitten, Lance has an alternate identity as Lexi, Lance is a Pageant Queen because he loves his niece, Lance is genderfluid, Lotor is a Creep, M/M, Other, Pidge is a little shit, lance has a crush, two little OC girls
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-04-01 09:03:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13994958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScreamHoney/pseuds/ScreamHoney
Summary: Two years ago, fifteen year-old Lance started competing in Beauty Pageants with his little four year old cousin for fun, creating his female counterpart, Lexi.Now Lance is competing in his last official competition before he ages out, and it should be an absolute blast, like the previous ones. Of course this is also the pageant that his crush, Keith, in attendance. Very gay, very into dudes Keith. And Lance met him for the first time as Lexi.So much for winning him over...--Keith has known he was gay since he first knew what the word meant. He's never had any interest in girls, and that's fine with him. Then he goes to a Beauty Pageant with his brother, Shiro's, not-girlfriend, Allura, to give her some moral support in dealing with her creepy cousin, Lotor, and he meets Pageant Queen, Lexi.And Keith has never been so attracted to someone before...and it's a woman...is Keith not as gay as he's always thought?





	Teenagers & Tiaras

**Author's Note:**

> Uhhh...I watch Toddlers & Tiaras with my roommate cause we are both horrible and I like the dresses...being in the Voltron fandom at the time and Klance taking over my life created this...thing...
> 
> I meant for it to be a cute little oneshot thing...it's definitely not...it has background and a weird plot I'm not 100% sure of but I like it!! 
> 
> Lance/Keith/Hunk are 17
> 
> Pidge is 15
> 
> Shiro/Allura are in their 20s somewhere, I haven't decided
> 
> And Acxa is Lotor's daughter :D 
> 
> This is un-beta-ed so if you find any mistakes just let me know please!! 
> 
> Please enjoy!! <3

Keith was never one to like large groups of people. It was too noisy, too much chaos, and too many things could go horribly wrong. Especially with too much socializing going on.

Too much socializing never turned out favorable for Keith.

He was fine just hanging out with his brother, Shiro, his “not a girlfriend” Allura, Coran the crazy uncle friend, and Pidge.

Pidge had been Keith’s best friend since the Shirogane family adopted him. Because Shiro and Holt’s eldest, Matt, had been friends since diapers. It was only natural that the two younger siblings would stick together. Their similar interests only helped to develop their close-knit relationship.

So yes Keith preferred the presence of his few friends over that of many strangers. Didn’t mean that his few friends didn’t try drag him out to bigger gatherings.

Though he had to admit, this was the first time they dragged him to a beauty pageant…

“Shiro…why exactly are we at the…Miss Fantasy Pageant?” Keith was very confused. Maybe he shouldn’t have slept through the car ride.

“Uhmm…because-” “Because my father has ridiculous expectations and foolish ideas on how to keep our family together.”

Allura cut Shiro off with an angry swish of her hand as she glared at pretty much everything.

Keith and Pidge shared a look before they both turned back to Shiro, wanting an actual detailed explanation.

“Allura’s father and aunt are trying to mend the riff between their families, and decided that the best place to start was for Allura to support her cousin and his daughter in their competitions for…Ultimate Grand Supreme?” Shiro sounded more confused towards the end of their explanation but Keith and Pidge got the idea.

“It’s just a crock of shit honestly. The only reason Lotor is putting poor Acxa through this-this farce of an event is because he’s trying to get the phone number and a date out of one of the contestants.” Allura scowled as she crossed her arms and glared at a family walking by.

“And this makes you angry because~?” Pidge questioned, looking as confused as Keith felt, even Coran was stroking his moustache in his patented thinking pose.

Allura’s beautiful face contorted as she somehow mad her face look even **more** angry. None of her friends have ever seen her like that.

“Because these are **Junior** Pageants. The oldest contestants are _seventeen_. And last I checked, Lotor just turned _twenty-seven_. It’s disgusting and vile of him to be preying on a minor.”

And now Keith, Pidge, Shiro, and Coran had grossed out looks on their faces. What a creep.

“Oh come off it, **cousin** , a woman is a woman, age means nothing when it all comes down to it.”

Speak of the devil and he shall appear…

Lotor was just as tall and as dark-skinned as Allura. But unlike Allura, he was skinny and kind of sleazy looking. But that might just be because Keith heard all the stories from Allura and has a pretty clear picture in his mind of Lotor.

“And yet you wonder why I don’t like you.” Allura glared at her cousin, and Keith is pretty sure Pidge, Shiro, and Coran are as well. Keith certainly is.

“I don’t need you to like me cousin. And I did ask for your presence only to help Acxa win a bigger crown. She’s been in six pageants and only won Princess for her age group once. The other five she didn’t even **place**. I figure a female with half of my good genetics might be able to give some advice to my daughter, who has ALL of my good genetics.”

Just the way Lotor said that without even looking at Allura, made Keith want to punch him.

When Lotor finally did look at them it was only to glare at Shiro, Coran, Pidge, and Keith, himself.

“Though you didn’t need to bring all of these unfortunate looking people.”

Keith actually had to hold Pidge back from attacking at that statement. The little gremlin was protective. More so than Keith, normally.

“They’re here to be **my** moral support for having to deal with _you_.” It was finally Allura’s turn to look smug and, unlike Lotor, she wore it _well_.

Lotor had opened his mouth to comment probably another insult, but he was interrupted by a deep voice that Keith could have sworn was familiar.

“Pidge? Is that you?”

Collectively as a group they all turned around to see a tall, broad, nicely tanned man standing there and looking surprised. His eyes trained on Pidge...Keith wanted to bristle and be angry at the attention but the stranger’s eyes held nothing but soft kindness.

“Hunk?!”

Well Pidge definitely knew the stranger, and Keith knows he’s heard Pidge mention Hunk in a few outlandish tales from school.

Before Hunk did anything else he looked over and saw Lotor. It was like a visible switch had been flicked because suddenly the soft gentleness disappeared, replaced by hardness and an anger the man didn’t seem capable of.

“Is he bothering you?” the previously already deep voice was deeper still and now vocalizing the anger that was so clear on his face.

They were all taken aback by the change, even Pidge who obviously knows the other.

Lotor was the only one who didn’t seem taken aback, in fact he just looked livid.

“Well well well. If it isn’t the bodyguard.” Lotor stood up taller but he had nothing on Hunk’s height, and the venom in his tone was something none of them had heard before.

“Well well well, if it isn’t the walking sexual harassment lawsuit. When will you take a damn hint?”

“No one can resist me, you overgrown meat shield. She’ll say yes eventually and the first thing I’m going to do is get rid of you.”

“Nice of you to think that, _Lotor_. But the reality of it is that Lexi doesn’t want to _date_ you because you are an unpleasant person and _more than ten years older than she is_. Take a fucking hint and step off.”

Pidge was gasping as she looked up at Hunk, who was clearly her friend, surprised to hear him even talk so venomously to anyone, even if it was Lotor.

“Like I was saying earlier, age means nothing, a woman is a woman, and _eventually_ I will get what I want.”

“That’s disgusting and gross and I hope you fall into a ditch big enough to fit you and your ego and _never crawl out_.” The sneer on Hunk’s face actually made Keith double-take.

He was honestly surprised that Lotor was able to stand there with the same sneer as always, not balking in the least…maybe he was just used to it? It definitely didn’t seem like this was the first time these two have ever run in to each other.

“Whatever. I don’t need to listen to you, nor do I wish to. I’ll find Lexi walking around somewhere, and you won’t be in the way to stop me from getting her number this pageant. Come along, Acxa. I expect to see you later, _cousin_.”

Lotor practically dragged his daughter away by the wrist, the little girl trailing behind like a puppy, looking up at Allura with the widest eyes Keith has ever seen on a child.

Man there are just some people who shouldn’t have custody of children, and Lotor is _definitely_ one of them.

“Oh man, you’re his cousin?”

Keith turned to look at Hunk, his voice less menacing and now just questioning and confused.

“Unfortunately.” Allura pushed out, still looking like she’d rather be anywhere but where she was right now, and low-key Keith did too.

“Man, Hunk, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so vicious before…who is Lexi? Why on earth are you **here** of all places in fact?” Pidge spoke quickly, hands mildly flapping while they question the other man.

“Oh uh…well you see…the thing is-” Hunk was stuttering, his face turning slightly red as he rubs the back of his head, obviously trying to come up with something to say in response of the inquiry and coming up flat.

“Hunk!!”

Out of no where, a young lady, clad in a flowing cream and black duel-toned gown that complimented her dark tanned skin wonderfully, came running from around the corner, her hands holding her skirt up as she ran.

“Oh my gosh, Hunk! Why did you disappear?! Monica and Emily are at the peak of a sugar high and won’t sit still for their- oh I’m so sorry…” she stopped speaking suddenly, staring at Keith and his family with wide eyes as she dropped her gown skirt and clasped her hands in front of her, looking like the perfect example of a pageant queen.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt! I’m so sorry!” she apologized profusely, looking to the side at Hunk and then at Pidge, like she knew the little gremlin somehow.

“Don’t worry, Lexi, you weren’t interrupting. This is Lotor’s cousin, did you know he had such a stunning relative?” Hunk smiled at _Lexi_ , gesturing to Allura with one hand and grabbing one of Lexi’s with the other.

Keith had to admit that she was a beautiful woman, and his heart beat a little faster as her lovely brown eyes briefly locked with his own as she swept her gaze over to Allura.

“Are you sure they’re related? Lotor is an absolute pig…”

Lexi looked uncomfortable all of a sudden, fidgeting with the see-through lacy skirt that framed long and surprisingly muscular legs.

“You must be the poor unfortunate girl who has his interest in pageants, I’m so sorry he’s being so rude to you. You do not deserve it and honestly if I could document any of it I would report him to the police…” Allura swiftly took the hand that was fidgeting with the skirt and held it clasped between both of her own.

“If there is anything at all that I can do, please let me know. I will try my best to keep him away from you for this pageant…maybe convince my aunt and father that Lotor is a danger to the contestants or something.”

“It’s…it’s not that big of a deal really…”

“Lexi, _please_ , it’s harassment that you don’t deserve when you’re only here to support your niece.” Hunk sighed exasperatingly and Keith kind of wanted to punch Lotor in the face at the uncomfortable look he put on this lovely young lady’s face.

Keith was surprised by his own thoughts, he normally wasn’t so protective of people he just met, but something about this lady just brought out his protective side. The last person he did that for was his ex-boyfriend…was he…not as gay as he thought???

“Excuse me, there is no way you aren’t a contestant. That gown is absolutely gorgeous, and you look like you could slay without even _trying_.” Pidge piped up suddenly, shocking the three into looking over to them as they smiled up at Lexi with a look that Keith _knew_.

Mischievous little gremlin.

“Oh I am a contestant. I just only compete for the sake of my niece. She adores me you see, almost as much as she loves her best friend, Emily, and she out right **refused** to be here without me and Emily threw an epic fit about that and honestly two four year-old little girls against me left me with no choice.”

Lexi smiled awkwardly, looking between Hunk and Pidge like there was something the three of them were in on that no one else was.

Curious.

“This can’t be your first pageant. Lotor has been after you for 6 pageants now…and you definitely hold yourself too perfectly to be just a beginner…” now Allura had a suspicious look on her face, despite being so supportive of Lexi earlier.

“It isn’t my first pageant, I’ve been competing for almost two years now…Moni and Em are six now.” Lexi shrugs and smiles widely at the group and Keith’s heart **stops**.

“Wow that’s a lot of dedication to your niece to keep doing this for two years if you don’t want to.” Shiro finally piped in, coming up beside Allura and smiling at Lexi, who Keith just realized was fucking _tall_.

Lexi just smiles back and blinks slowly, hand tightening around Hunk’s as she looks at the group that is now surrounding her. She was obviously uncomfortable and Keith feels bad about his family being so full of little shits that he was about to make them all back-off when Pidge opened their mouth first.

“Oh we’re so rude. We haven’t introduced ourselves. My name is Pidge, Hunk and I take Engineering and Physics together at the Garrison Academy. This is my brother’s best friend Shiro, his not-girlfriend Allura, _her_ best friend, Coran, and **my** best friend…Keith.”

Pidge had that evil smirk again as they said Keith’s name, and Lexi’s head snapped to look at him, a red blush slowly spreading across her cheeks, highlighting the red painted on her lips.

Keith was having the opposite of a gay-crisis right now.

He’s never been _so attracted to a woman before_.

Help.

**-surprising PoV change. Are you surprised?-**

Lance was having heart palpitations.

He wasn’t breathing right and it took all his years of training in pageants to present a façade of relative calmness. His mind was running ten miles a minute though.

Keith.

Keith Kogane.

Keith _motherfucking_ Kogane.

He was here.

At a pageant.

At THE pageant.

His last pageant before he officially ages out of competing pageants with Moni.

This was not how he ever expected to be introduced to the man he always saw as his rival and low-key always had a crush on.

For fuck’s sake, Lance was in the most revealing of his gowns, and his make-up was only half applied because SOME LITTLE SHITS COULDN’T SIT STILL and HUNK RAN OFF! This was hardly the jaw-dropping introduction Lance wanted.

Hell, Keith probably took him for a girl, and at the moment Lance didn’t particularly want to deny that, but that was completely beside the point.

Keith was very much gay.

Everyone knew that.

Even the kids over at Garrison, who hated said man with a passion that was matched by _nothing_.

And Lance was presenting as a lady.

Fuck.

His day dreams of blowing Keith away with his stunning looks and killer lines was absolutely obliterated, because once Keith found out Lance was sometimes _Lexi_ he wouldn’t even consider Lance a romantic partner.

Attracted to dudes only…not dudes who were sometimes ladies too….

Fuck.

Not the time to panic McClain, make an excuse, steal Hunk, get AWAY from the little gremlin who connected dots way too fast, finish Moni’s and Em’s hair and make-up, slay the competition, avoid Lotor the Creep while doing so, and FORGET THIS MOMENT EVER HAPPENED.

That was his plan. Time to put it in motion.

“Oh it’s so lovely to meet you. My name is…is Lexi…I’m, Hunk and I have been friends for a long time. And as nice as you all are, we, uh, do have some things to do before Beauty…so if you’ll excuse us…”

Smooth.

Lance dragged Hunk away by their connected hands, hiking up his ridiculously see-through skirt, THAT KEITH SAW HIM IN, and walked as fast as he could in his favorite pair of heels _away_ from the group.

“Woah, woah, _Lexi_ , what’s the rush? I know you weren’t expecting to see Pidge and family here, but that’s no reason to be rude…”

Hunk had a point but honestly Lance didn’t expect him to put the dots together, Lance was always rather self-contained when it came to his worries about his crush on Keith and the existence of Lexi.

“It doesn’t matter how rude it is, _Hunk_. That was Keith KOGANE! And he saw me as _Lexi_. I’m Lexi right now and the boy I am rivalling just met me for the first time as a lady!! My very very _gay_ rival…this is big Hunk.” Lance struggled with his skirt as he tried to make his way towards the hotel room the girls were waiting for him in.

“Oooooh, this is less about being rude to Pidge and family, and more about making a good impression on _Keith_.” Hunk had that smile on his face that he always wore when he realized something about Lance that he wanted to hide and HOW _DARE_.

“And what’s your point? Keith is my RIVAL! I of _course_ want to make an impression on him that would intimidate him and put me in the front of our competition!! Appear as Lexi with only half of my make-up done is NOT intimidating.”

“I think it’s pretty intimidating, that dress really shows off your killer legs and those legs just won’t quit!” Hunk smiled as the red started to spread across Lance’s face and really he should revoke Hunk’s best friend card for always picking on him like this.

“You think so?” He asked instead, glancing down at the floral lace that swayed with every step.

“Of course. Not to mention those heels are very spiky and very intimidating, especially to someone like Keith who actively avoids women who dress like that.”

Hunk easily caught up to Lance, making sure that he didn’t trip and hurt himself while walking so fast in his heels. It’s been YEARS since Lance has done that so he’s not sure why exactly Hunk keeps trying to remind him of that by watching him just in case.

“He was in the presence of _Allura Altea_. What do you mean he avoids woman with spikey heels?” Lance looks at Hunk sideways but keeps walking, lowering his skirt as he slows his pace, watching the room numbers that pass by so he doesn’t miss his or Mrs. Escobar’s.

“Yeah but he doesn’t ever hang out with another lady like either of you. He’s probably more than used to Allura’s presence because she’s _Allura_. Lexi on the other hand? She’s new and beautiful and intimidating, he was probably struck speechless.”  

“Really now Hunk, you’re just saying things to make me feel better about him seeing me as Lexi.” Lance spoke offhandedly as he opened the room him, Moni, and Hunk had rented for the night. Hopefully the little maniacs had calmed down enough for Lance to finish their hair and make-up so he could finish his own make-up.

And his hair of course, his wig looked just like his normal hair and not a single judge has ever noticed how not real it was, but he always spent extra time on his hair specifically so they would continue to not notice and-

“Hunk.”

“Yeah, _Lexi_.”

“Is my hair on?”

Lance slowly turned his head to his best friend, not feeling the familiar swish of the brown locks, his hand wrapped around the handle to the room like it was his lifeline.

“Ummm…what’s the answer that you want to hear?” Hunk asked and Lance started breathing hard.

“I wasn’t wearing my hair…It was just my hair, my Lance hair, my every day hair, my brown short hair…Oh my god Hunk!”

“Relax, Lexi. Just deep breaths. Match your breathing with mine. Breathe in: 1, 2, 3,4. And now breathe out: 1, 2, 3, 4. There you go, just like that. And again.”

Hunk’s voice was just as relaxing as it always was and Lance was never more thankful that his best friend was his best friend.

“It’s not as big as an issue as you are making it out to be right now. Short hair is a very in thing for women and girls now, they will see you later on stage, if they stay that long, and know that you changed it to be more traditional for the pageant. Okay? No need to panic about it. None at all.”

A warm hand on his shoulder just emphasized all the words Hunk was saying, words that Lance really needed to hear right now.

“Do you think they noticed?”

“That you had short hair? It’s kind of hard not to, but you didn’t act like anything was wrong so they probably were paying more attention to your legs, smile, and uncomfortableness with the whole situation. You know, the obvious things.”

Hunk placed a hand on the small of Lance’s back and pushed him into the room before Lance even had a chance to respond to the _obvious things_ part of Hunk’s statement.

And then Em and Moni were shouting for him and shouting about she did this and she did that and shouting and shouting and shouting, so he had to enter crisis pageant mode.

“Alright you two, no more sugar. Beauty is in less than an hour, I haven’t finished either of y’all’s make-up, I need to do my own make-up, everyone’s hair is a mess, and you’ve rumpled your dresses with all the jumping around y’all have been doing.”

Lance was on a warpath now, completely forgetting about the situation with Keith and friends, he was completely focused on getting everyone ready for the first round of the competition.

Nothing like putting aside your worries to hyper-focus on something else.

“Tía, you don’t need to do your hair, you look _fantastic_ with it short!! I like it! Can I cut my hair that short?!” Moni was smiling wide, the pixie stick she had earlier painting her tongue purple, and Lance just wanted to sigh.

“Talk with your mom about that okay? For now we’re just gonna keep it long and we’re curling it this time, so it’ll look shorter, right?”

Moni nodded frantically, the curlers in her long black hair bobbing with the motion, and Em copied her motions, the blond looking just as ridiculous as Moni’s.

“And you, Em, need to talk it over with Mrs. Escobar, alright? You know how she is about your hair.”

Lance started collecting together the tools he needed to finish the hair while Emily nodded sadly and spoke quietly.

“Mom’ll never let me cut it off. Mom wants my hair to be long…Can you talk to her, tía? Maybe you can tell her that I’ll match you and Moni!”

Em’s little face looked so hopeful, that Lance wanted to tell her that that would work. But Lance knew what her mom was like, and she would not let the little girl cut her hair, not matter how much Lance tried to convince her.

“I’ll try sweetie. Why don’t you go ask Hunk to help you undo your curlers?” Lance was slowly undoing the ones in Monica’s hair, keeping the girl distracted by giving her the job of putting them back together for easier storage.

“Uncle Hunk why are you smiling weirdly while take a photo of Moni and tía?”

Lance’s head snapped over to where he heard Emily’s voice and glared at his best friend, who, sure enough, had his cellphone in his hand.

“Hunk you are not helping the situation. _Less than an hour!_ ”

“Yes yes, come on over Em. Let’s get your curlers out so tía can stop freaking out about the time, even though we all know full well that we’ll be down there sitting for Beauty well before it’s due to start.”

Hunk was laughing as he started to carefully place Emily so he could get all the curlers out with the care they required, giving her the same task as Monica to keep her mind engaged.

The whole hair process for the two was loads easier when they staggered the steps for each of the girls, and Lance was forever grateful for Hunk constantly coming with them for pageants.

Lord knows Mrs. Escobar isn’t any help.

Before Lance and Monica started doing the pageants with them, Emily’s mom had her painted up like a doll and it looked ridiculous with her naturally tanned skin.

Good thing Lance has always been good at make-up, and he taught himself how to do hair by practicing on Monica during the school week.

With Lance taking on all the heavy lifting involved with pageantry, Mrs. Escobar normally just spends her time gossiping with other pageant moms and trying to get on the judges’ good side so they’ll place her daughter well.

A very insecure woman, Mrs. Escobar is, and it’s really starting to effect Emily in a not so flattering way.

Monica, Lance, and Hunk do all they can for her while they’re away at pageants but they can’t protect her from her mom’s negativity when they’re in their own house.

Luckily Lance’s sister is more than happy to have Emily over for as many sleep overs as she can put together without it seeming suspicious.

“Okay, Moni, time to do your make-up, then Em’s. Hunk do you mind putting my hair in while I do Moni’s look?”

“Of course, I’ve only done it how many times now?”

“I don’t need your sass, man. I just need your fingers on my head, putting my hair on.”

Lance didn’t even glance towards Hunk as he turned Monica’s face ever so carefully so he could apply a light layer of blue eyeshadow.

He figured he’d go with a layered look this time, so he wouldn’t have to alter too much for the fantasy portion of the pageant. The blue was going to be topped with a light line of purple and some shimmer powder to really make Moni’s hazel eyes pop.

The light layer of foundation he already put on shouldn’t affect the colors, and then he could place a light dusting of blush and keep the lip gloss at a pale pink that he can wash off later for the more fantastical make-up he had in mind.

As he was carefully shaping Monica’s eyebrows, Hunk’s fingers very carefully started weaving in to his hair, lightly pinning some portions down so he could properly place the long hair on.

The wig caps never worked too when with Lance’s hair, and after much trial and error they figured that just pinning some strands down works well enough.

“Do you both remember your Beauty routines, Monica? Emily?”

Lance idly listened as the girls started listing off the moves in order, correcting each other whenever they put something in the wrong place. It helped them to remember the order when they were on stage if they talked it out beforehand.

He’s really not quite sure how, but that’s how it goes for the two of them, and Lance isn’t one to mess with a routine that works.

“Ouch, dude, watch the small strands. That hurt.”

“Oh of course, your highness, I will go so slow that you will not even know your hair is moving at all.”

“Wow, I’m _hurt,_ Hunk. Why are you so sassy today?”

“Might have something to do with how rude you were to Pidge and her family earlier? What if we made a bad impression on your _crush_.”

Hunk was teasing again, and Lance knew it, but it didn’t stop the red hot flush from spreading across his cheeks anyway. Of course Hunk would put all the signs together to come up with the correct assumption.

Rude.

“YOU HAVE A CRUSH, TÍA?!!!”

And Lance completely forgot about the two little girls in the room who were attached to him at the hip and concerned about everything that happens in his life.

Why can’t things ever be easy for once?

“ _No!_ Uncle Hunk is just using that word to get a rise out of me! What he really means is my _rival_.”

Lance wanted to give himself a high-five at how smooth he was with that explanation, it was really quite good, not at all a lie, or even close to something that’s not true.

“No I meant crush. You’ve had a crush on that boy since you saw his name on the transfer list to the Garrison Academy a year and a half ago and had to go _scope out the competition_.”

“NO I DIDN’T! _Shush your face, Hunk!_ ” Lance didn’t want to resort to yelling, he always strived to be a good role model for the two girls, but sometimes _sacrifices need to be made_.

“Lance Lance Lance. None of us are blind, we know you have a crush on him the size of Jennifer’s hair, no need to be so defensive. I’m sure Em and Moni would _love_ to meet the boy you’ve longed to meet for so many years.”

Hunk’s face was absolutely devious, and the only thing stopping Lance from burying his face in his hands was the fact that his foundation and contour was already on and he hasn’t used setting spray yet.

No need to mess up hard work because his best friend was a _sadist_ after all.

“Yeah!! Tía! We wanna meet him!”

“No! You’re going to sit here and let me finish your make-up, and then you’re going to sit quietly while I finish mine, and then we are going to go to Beauty, crush the competition, then come RIGHT BACK HERE to get ready for theme wear!”

Lance swished the brush across Monica’s cheeks, finishing off her light blush, reaching for the light tube of pink lip gloss. He was just going to finish the make-up without talking, no need to confirm or deny anything that was going on Hunk’s brain about Lance’s not-crush on Keith.

“Don’t worry girls, while your tía is on stage I’ll point Keith out to you. You’ll like him, he’s cool and wears leather. And what were you saying the other day about his eyes? That they are dark windows that go on for miles and you could get lost in them for hours?”

Hunk was totally trying to get a rise out of Lance, and Lance wasn’t having it, he was the better person and he was going to prove it by not responding to Hunk’s jabs at him.

It wasn’t Lance’s fault that Keith had so many traits that were unfairly attractive.

“Oh and what about his hair? Something about it being an absolutely out of fashion monstrosity that somehow frames everything good about his masculine face?”

Lance wasn’t going to cave. He wasn’t.

“And his muscles were sculpted by god and all of his angels specifically to torment you in your dreams when you’re trying to sleep?”

Lance was caving.

“That is NOT WHAT I SAID AND YOU KNOW IT YOU LYING LIAR WHO LIES!!!” Lance completely forgot about starting Emily’s make-up and turned around to glare at his best friend, lunging forward to close his hands over Hunk’s mouth.

Of course Hunk is a ninja in disguise and immediately manages to catch ahold of Lance’s wrists, laughing as they do a demented little dance around the hotel room. The feeling of his hair swishing against his shoulders has him calming a bit, like normal, but not enough to stop his attempts at Hunk’s mouth.

The girls were probably judging them in the way that six year-old girls do, but Lance didn’t care, he had a best friend to silence.

“Do really have time to be trying to silence be right now, _Lexi_. You still have a little girl that needs her make-up done, and you need to finish your own and Beauty starts in a little under twenty minutes.”

Hunk’s smirk was downright devious and Lance wanted to scream, as he suddenly realized how much he had to do and here HUNK WAS BAITING HIM!!!

His best friend’s laughter followed him as he fumingly turned around to the chairs to finish Emily’s make-up before starting his own.

Some friend.

  **TBC**

**Author's Note:**

> So Lance is definitely genderfluid, he just prefers he/him pronouns when talking about himself. And prefers if no one uses pronouns for him at all when he's Lexi. 
> 
> Hunk is the best bro~ 
> 
> Let me know what you think!!


End file.
